2 Corinthians 5:17 “Therefore if any mam be in Christ, he is a new creature, Old things are passed away behold all things have become new.”
The bible passage felt so easy and straight forward but in my little world, it felt so unreal and difficult to believe. I continued to hold myself a prisoner of my past instead of a pioneer to my future. I blamed myself for not completing my Masters pro-grams, l blamed myself for my failures. I felt l could have handled things better. If l had bought that house, if l had invested more, if l had not entered into that relationship etc.
What baffles me most was how l easily forgave others but find it difficult to forgive myself.
Every failure l attached to the fact that God was punishing me for my sins and l deserved everyone of them. For over twenty years l was a prisoner of my past. I began to give up on my dreams of ever doing my PHD because l love to study. I ran into my shell believing that l have nothing to offer to the world at large. I stammered when talking because l felt my words doesn’t make sense. The devil began to torment me with my mind and I became of prisoner to his tactics. I began to fear death, I feared rejection so much that l stopped trying. I didn’t want to hurt anyone so l kept my opinions to myself. I became a shad-ow of myself.
One day l determined in my mind that l needed to be delivered. My deliverance didn’t come with just one prayer or miracles that some of us love so much, it came with the Holy Spirit purging my mind., it came through the divine encounter with the Lord. It came the day l learnt to submit totally to the Lord completely regardless of my opinion, choice and self will. It came when l began to personalize Romans 8:1-2 “therefore now there is no condemnation against me.” My deliverance came when l began to pray an agreement prayer with some servant of God who were my friends.
My deliverance came with purification of my heart. I made my mind so blank just for his word to penetrate. For every failure l had written out or l felt, l use the word of God to replace it. For example if my mind says “I am a failure”, the word of the Lord says “I am more than conqueror through him that loved me”. I began to live according to his will and purpose. I began to expe-rience peace of mind. My sleeplessness began to depart. I became a new born child. The Lord has set me free so why should l be bound. I began to believe his word saying “I will not die but live to declare the works of the Lord in the land of the living.”
The point is that for every questions, doubts, fears, confusions, anxiety that you might have, there is a word of God for it.
LIVING MY NEW LIFE
